Life Escapades

My Light

2008-07-27T11:36:00.000+08:00

Hearing words of edification to our God above, in unison across the hall. A church lift their spirits and voices, with all their hearts. They sing "I trust in You". I've seen and felt my God's presence. In the light of adversities and trials, my God still stands high above them for me to catch a glimpse. Upon the sight of my God, I caught a smile on His face. An expression that answers everything. Your mind, soul, body and heart literally feels in and agrees with the same experience you encounter.

Assurance, grace, hope, love, wisdom.. He has them in Him. Those things you long for in life are in hands, wrapped and address to YOU. Not shared, its meant for you.

This is my God.. He thinks we're worth His son's life.

This is my God.. He thinks we're world shakers

This is my God.. He who holds our world

This is my God.. In who I will trust above every name..

I'm moving

2008-07-03T21:53:00.001+08:00

I'm moving out ttp://christshine.blogspot.com/

Its under construction now. Check it out soon! =)

1st entry in more than a month!

2008-06-18T20:17:00.000+08:00

Hello! Long time no entry! lol.. Finally a time to blog short entry. I believe its housing cobwebs by now.. haha..

Life has been pretty hectic. I'm now praying for a chance to jet away for a holiday to unwind. I'm entangled with my own time mismanagement. But thank God for His grace! It seems the more tired I am, the more open I am to Him. Surrendering to Him gets easier cuz its beyond my own strength.

I've been leaving alot of things undone. Hopefully now when I've iron things out in my time, I can be more effective in my ministry and studies. But that aside, life is much more meaningful now. =)

I've yet to post pictures of my maroon van. Wait for my next entry!

Gd nite!

Exhasuted

2008-05-22T18:37:00.000+08:00

Hello.. its been quite awhile since I last blogged. Been busy going to bed to sleep.

Now I have a new addition to my life: Work. Thank God for this job! They provided transport, a van to take home + basic pay of a poly grad. Total up with all the cost to maintain the van with my pay adds up to $2k plus!

I'm into my 2nd week at work. Very tiring and I once tried to study at night, only to study in vain because I was too sleepy. I think this is the time of transition to lean on God and crucify my flesh!

I'll update more soon. I'm tired. Tired people make a difference in the world.

Spirit of Life!

2008-05-08T10:49:00.000+08:00

Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord! I found a job! I'm working in Dray Construction as a Project Coordinator and I get to drive home a van! That kind of transport is what I need! Suddenly its breathes life into me!

What a relief. Been feeling so low in myself for the past 3 months feeling a burden to my family. Now the day has come to repay their efforts. Shireen would feel relief that our plans for our future can start now.

Its a new challenge, a new life now that I'm all an adult. I really thank the Lord for His Goodness. Throughout the past 3 months He led me to learn new things before setting out on something like this. I'm more aggressive in terms of believing in what I want and what I can have.

I love Jesus and my sweetheart, Shireen. She's been through my thick and thins in my life.

"Thank you dear, this day of victory is for you."

Lesson 101

2008-04-26T00:50:00.000+08:00

I've got alot to learn in being in a relationship.

Glorious Birthday

2008-04-24T21:21:00.001+08:00

This year truly is one to remember throughout my lifetime. Definitely gonna treasure this moment (more to come until Sunday).

Beginning this week on Monday, Shireen asked me if I was excited about my birthday. I said no because every year its always the same like every other day. But this year was fully loaded with surprises.

On Wednesday, my cell group friends came out to celebrate my birthday. Not knowing what was going on, they planned lots of things behind my back with my gf as well! They brought me to Cafe Cartel, paid of my dinner, surprise me with Shireen being there, presents and a mango cake! Btw, photos are with Ian. Thank man. As usual, not use to the kind of attention, I was shy. The presents were things I wanted. A polo tee by Zara, a super outstanding card from the cell group and a Bodyshop set consisting of hair & body wash and moisturiser. From Elene, a woodpecker! I went back home playing with it over and over again. After we parted ways, Shireen told me about how they arranged the place, the presents, the extent on how they get the presents and how excited they were. My goodness! I asked myself if I deserve it. Did i really do alot for them? *Guilty*

Then today I went to Shireen's house. She again threw a surprise mini birthday celebration. Her mum, her sister Jolene, Alvin and herself singing birthday song. Her mum gave me ang bao money as a gift. When i got back home, there was an envelope on my laptop. There was a card from my family. They wrote many thankful and encouraging words plus a ang bao gift!

As of now, I'm immensely overwhelmed! Celebrating my 23rd year on earth! I look up into the sky and thank God because I know all these events are all planned by Him. A birthday present to me from Him.

Pictures of the presents i got from the zone leaders and my cell group.

Happy Holidays

2008-04-23T08:35:00.000+08:00

Hello! i'm back blogging again! how have you all been? lol.. Anyway i'm done with my exams. It was ok. Overall i think i could have done better if i improve my study habits and facing fears of numbers and formulas. If i want to have a degree, think like a degree holder!

Not long ago, i received my timetable for next trimester. Hoping that it would be alot better, it came out the same like the last one. I have class, out of 7 days, 2 days weekdays, 2 weekends. Sigh..

I'm not gonna let it affect my way to getting my degree. I'll give my all and keep my spirits up with God's help. I'm empowered for victory! Amen!

I have break till 3rd May! Till then, I can do many thing with my time. Like spending time with Shireen and lots of catching up with friends.

Procrastination

2008-04-06T21:27:00.001+08:00

I lack will to do something about my bad habits of studying and time management. I have a problem. I'm always procrastinating. Thinking back of how i manage my time, i miss a completely perfect opportunity to study. Now I'm paying the price. I better stop thinking ridiculously negative about the things I'm involve in. Its time i think about "I can" instead of "I can't".

I'm gonna seek God for a clear direction for my life. I have a family, relationship, studies, ministry and work to juggle in a week in the future. Its either i take up all or give up some. Let the Lord decide my ways.

Anyway, Sweetheart Shireen bought me a new phone! W960i as a present for our 6 months anniversary and my 23rd birthday! Its cool.. THANK YOU DEAR!

Friends

2008-03-26T21:31:00.000+08:00

Today I just watched the last episode of Friends. Yes, Season 10 episode 20. It was so heart wrenching to know the 'Friends' era is coming to a close. I'm so lagging behind because the shows last episode was back in 2004.

Throughout every episode, the show made me grow attached to it making them part of me. I guess I long for friendship like that; when friends are your family. I'm overwhelmed with sentimental feelings because the show had been running for 10 successive years! Apart of the humongous salary they earn per episode, its the friendship they forge in the process of time.

I watched their interviews in the 'Tonight's Show', Opera Show, Ellen Show. I could sense the lost and sadness when reality hit them. Its not fame or money that they are missing but each other. Practically they spent their lives watching each other grow old!

I was badly affected, felt lost and saddened.. My god.. lol..

Re-focus

2008-03-21T22:09:00.000+08:00

My mind is all flustered with thoughts and worries. Now I know the root problem. Things can be under control with proper thinking w/o involving emotions.

Been feeling the stress about my studies. Paying the price for not managing my time properly and taking for granted the time I had back in the early days of this semester. Now exams are right around the corner. 4 weeks from now to be exact. Then there is my finances. Currently I'm relying heavily on my parents which I really don't feel comfortable. Since the beginning of the year, I've been deciding whether I should get a full time job, part time job or no job until I graduate. I get a full time job, I would have problems dedicating time for my studies, a part time job would mean I have to work outside my field such as Sales, Admin, etc. No work? No dough. By the time I graduate, I would be 26 and a fresh graduate if I take a part time job outside my field. Not feeling too good about that because I feel I've lost enough time.

After talking to dear, I've decided! I've made my final decision to concentrate in getting through this semester first then I'll find a part time job. Most importantly I work hard for a good degree. Its true.. I'm blessed to have my studies and expenses taken care of. 26 yrs old a fresh degree graduate is not an issue rather than at 26 yrs old and still a diploma holder. I must treasure and focus on this opportunity that I have now.

I will not entertain negative thoughts. Thoughts of worry, thoughts of myself being incompetent, thoughts of bailing out of studies. I'll focus and work hard. I still have time to make amendments and make things right!

I thought Easter Drama production was a fresh concept. Fusing the past and future together and made it quite an enjoyable journey. They add a personal touch at the end of it in which I was impacted by it. Jesus loves us even though we turn our backs many times. Jesus experience betrayal twice by Peter and Judas, yet He still loves them unconditionally. Like a husband taking his adulterous wife back with wide open arms. All over the world, the worst crime you can commit is betrayal. You will get your citizenship revoked and blacklisted from entering the country! Imagine the level of love Jesus has for us up to this present day!

Today's drama made me think about my life. At times I did mistakes of omission and then feel bad after that. I asked myself how do people who love God, like Pastor Kong, abstain from sin? The answer: Relationship experience

When one experience God's love in a personal way. Like really know the heart of God kind of relationship. One would always bear God's feelings in mind like how a loving husband is to his wife. When they encounter a situation that they know their love ones would feel something against it, they are immediately reminded of it and would choose a choice that would be pleasing to his/her love one. Same with our relationship with God. How to establish that kind of relationship? Personal quiet time with God, enjoying His presence and communion with Him in your secret place. When God has a place in our hearts, He'll express himself in our lives. Then we shine for Him!

I want Him in my heart.

Trials

2008-03-16T21:17:00.001+08:00

Pst Phil was in town over the weekend to minister to us in church. He was sharing about how we can move in the Holy Spirit through our trials in life. I like it when he steps in and touch on issues at the right time. A word in season for the church.. that's moving in the Spirit!

Pst Phil said trials are present as a 'compliment' from God. Every time we are hit by trials means God knows its time for you to receive a higher anointing! A real statement from him:" Things go wrong when you are in the will of God."

What really impact me the most was the issue of where our confidence lie in. Like plants, we root ourselves to environments, we come alive when we're under these conditions and thrive. All of us receive Jesus into our lives, our root system is drawing life from the teachings and encounters with him. But its also important that we have our root system within itself. Most of us are swayed by people's opinion on us. For example, we are 'alive' when people recognise the things we do or receive compliments and praises, once these are taken away, we wilt spiritually and in ourselves. Rooted within ourselves gives us happiness and confidence in being us. We're real, don't feel threatened, being free in expressing who you really are and that results in loving ourselves!

Personally I 'thrive' when people around me, especially my family, doing well in their walk with God and others would recognise the things I do. All that must change. I need to be rooted in myself. Its an important issue especially when I'm rising up as a CGL. A leader leads, confident of himself and his ability. I want to have confidence in myself.

*Picture taken from City Harvest Church website "Photo Gallery"*

My New Chair

2008-03-11T21:03:00.001+08:00

Muahahaha.. I got this chair when I complained I couldn't study well with my old one. So happen that day my parents rented a car and I had this idea of getting a new chair while we were out having lunch. I bought this at Ikea Queensway! Price is at around the $100 range. =)

We went to Plaza Singapura after the shop trip at Ikea to buy groceries at Carrefour. But before that, we met up with Sisca there. Then as a whole family, we ate sandwiches at Subway! I had a very nice Subway Club sandwich! Had a great time talking, sharing and laughing. =) On the picture above, i bumped into King prawns! Look how juicy it will be once cooked! MMmmmmm....

Servanthood at the highest level

2008-03-10T00:05:00.000+08:00

The way to servanthood is at its highest is the way down. Pst. Kong shared a strong message which I personally found it hard to take. I felt really serviced on the inside. Major overhaul of myself getting rid of the worn out, bad stuff that affects my performance in my service to God. Gosh! I now describe myself like a car. My pride stripped apart from my heart, the love of God was overwhelming that melts my heart from its cold harden state.

I admit my life needs a long process of change. On being a leader which seems to be an uphill task. But I sense in my heart that it takes the heart to decide on being one. For the past 6 years being in City Harvest, God has brought me to higher places, higher calling for my life. My mindset is renewed time and again, always reminded of the one thing I'm in church for a cause. Not just being saved but fulfulling a commandment to make disciples.

The week before last week was a kick-ass service, last weekend was a hard kick in the butt! I'll never forget that service when I stood up before God to tell Him He can use me as and when He wants to. I've decided on a choice to be willing to fulfill God's true calling on my life.

"Lord I pray for strength and wisdom to last through a life time glorifying Your name. Whether is it at work, in school or in church, I want that life where I have the ability to influence. I was passive but now I want to be proactive for my life. But this life, I can never live out through my own strength BUT Christ who strengthens me. I don't believe in just a cross, I believe in a living God in whom I am well please to serve." -Chris

Action

2008-03-03T18:37:00.000+08:00

I took action on sunday, doing something about cell group. Its housekeeping time! I'm honestly not satisfied about how things are going in cell group. Both inside out are not up to standard. Glad i'm not saying i'm gonna do something about it, i'm doing something about it already..

Last week service was kick-ass. Pst. Kong preached about servanthood. I felt it was something that needs to be addressed in church. Personally i was convicted. I complained in my heart and gave an earful to God and dear.. hehe.. But now i'm glad i'm serving God as a CgL (connect group leader). I also have plenty of housekeeping within myself. My character and mindset. The thing about me is that i'm passive. I have knowledge but not putting them into action. Its time i slain my flesh, cut off the bad parts in my life and mould myself anew.

Wake up call

2008-02-29T00:50:00.004+08:00

I've been struggling with myself ever since school started. Life had been quite stagnant for me and frustration grows as days go by. I've sent out 40 resumes since the beginning of the year only to have 3 job interviews. In the meantime, feeling apprehensive of getting a full time job. Studies wise, been lacking of drive to study hard. Negative thoughts loomed in my mind, like giving up on certain things including studies so that I could just work and support myself.

Today I met up with dear and we're suppose to have a night out in town. But didn't in the end because Shireen was on standby, she might be called back to office, her job got into some trouble and needs to be rectified in order to get work done as scheduled. We watched TV together.

The last hour before I went home, we went downstairs and we had a good talk. I poured out my concerns over my future to her. She started nagging at me. But her nagging was anointed, with substance! What she said made me reflect my state of myself. Its like she showing a mirror of myself of what is inside of me. Her words are like a two-edged sword. I felt something break as she cut through my spirit. There was pride and ego shattered, crumbling away of the surface of my spirit, exposing my weakness. With that she instilled a new belief in me to get started on my conquest for victory!

I really thank God for bringing Shireen into my life. I can see how much of a woman she can be.. The woman behind a successful man. I'm not gonna let her slip through my fingers. *Thank You God*

Secrets of Growth

2008-02-12T12:00:00.000+08:00

Shireen blogged some nice entries and I asked her where she got all those verses from Pastor Phil Pringle. She said she subscribe to Leadership Files with Phil Pringle ministries. So I went and take a look at Christian City Church’s website to subscribe. As I was browsing the site, I came across a link to Pst. Phil’s podcast feed of all his preaching. I downloaded all that is available from iTunes.

I had an interview with Recruit Express and so took the opportunity to listen to one of Pst. Phil’s message about Secrets to Growth. He opened his message with this verse:

"But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue,
to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to
perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly
kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither
barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who
lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he
was cleansed from his old sins. Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to
make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never
stumble; for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the
everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." – 2 Peter 1:5-11

Pst. Phil shared that on top of our salvation, we must add diligence, virtue (moral excellence), knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, love. Only then can we grow in the inside. He went to mention about our current lives here on earth that our world is leading irresponsibly, blaming others of their shortcomings and how things turn out in their lives. But as long as we lead these values in our lives, we will see our lives prospering.
He took job as an example. We all know how tragedy struck him. Notice that the devil challenged God that Job would curse God when all the blessings from God are taken away from him, proving that he served God for His blessings. But Job passed the test in the end. But take a moment to think about the ordeals he had to face. He lost his children in a day, lost his property and assets in a day, struck by sickness, tension with his wife over calamities that happen and friends judging him that he had hidden sin in his life. Most of us would already walk away from God when his blessings are taken away.

I’m convicted by what I heard. All of us want our dream life but do not want to pay the price. Not willing to come before God in surrender and have confidence that His plans are higher than our plans. As we read on, Peter wrote this as a reminder to the church. That means this applies to all of us young or mature in the faith.

“For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor
unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” – 2 Peter 1:9

It is a promise that as long as we live out these values, we'll lead fruitful lives!

Happy Chinese New Year!

2008-02-07T00:26:00.000+08:00

My Chinese New Year this year is different! I went with Shireen's family to their reunion dinner at her grandma's house. The plan that day was to come over to Shireen's house and wait for her uncle to pick us up to her grandma's place. So I was there at her house at 2:30pm. Waited till 6:45pm till her uncle came to pick us up by van (=.=)

By the time we got on the van, I felt like dozing off already. In the van were all her cousins. The feeling is kind of awkward, imagine in a place full of strangers. When we got there, I got to see Shireen's grandma face to face.

My experience reminds me of the time I visited my relatives in Indonesia. Everyone is talking in a language I don't quite understand, occurrence of moments when there is total silence, etc. But still I feel its a warm tradition, a time where we, in our own family, can come together and catch up with one another. I think tradition is a nice warm culture if applied in a contemporary way. =)

Oh I also have to thank God for financial blessing! 3 hong baos already add up to 3 digit sum! The highest 'turnover' in Chris' lifetime! lol!

Believing

2008-01-31T18:54:00.000+08:00

Its the 31st of Jan. End of the month! I'm still jobless. But nevertheless, I'll never stop believing that I'll have one! 2nd Feb is my 1st term test for Maths. I'm just 50% confident. By God's grace, I'll make it!

Sorry if I haven't been updating my blog. Currently uninspired to write an entry. lol.. But please keep patronizing, you'll never know a new entry might pop out of nowhere. hehe..

Inspired

2008-01-23T00:35:00.000+08:00

Felt rotten all day today, weighed down by the fact I'm unemployed still. March building fund on its way and its a hefty amount! I spent the afternoon studying and it was fruitful. Thank You Jesus!

I remembered I committed the day to God, that today would be blessed! And He did! Leaders Meeting with Charles Whitehead was inspiring! Praise God for Charles! He is a member of the Catholic Renewal Committee. Catholic! *Repenting*

God really use all denominations for His Work here on Earth! And today Charles was sharing with us about his journey with the Lord. How when he travelled in between countries around the globe, there is always a perfect set up for him to win someone to Christ! I left the auditorium inspired! Indeed all that come into the House of God are blessed! Amen! Its all worth the travel time and the trouble to getting to Jurong church today.

God forgive me of all the nasty things I harboured in my mind and heart. Truly Your Love is perfect. Its unconditional and it means You love ALL. No sin that You can't forgive, no person You can't restore, NO ONE is left out on having You as a personal friend and Saviour..

Lost a battle but NOT THE WAR

2008-01-22T11:16:00.000+08:00

I experienced one of my lowest point in my spiritual walk. when everything about is a burden, everything about is dull. Eventually would think its better to quit.

I had a good chat and sharing with dear and that spurred me on. I'm coming back, starting small once again. building my life upon relationship rather than knowledge. With that little faith I have, God will not fail to impress me as long as my eyes are set on Him. To witness His hand moving upon my life even to the slightest of motion!

His Perfect Love, I adore Him.

Confidence

2008-01-21T10:12:00.000+08:00

Till 2011, I'll need alot of that to go through the tough life. But courage is the substance in me that makes the difference!

Parables

2008-01-08T20:38:00.000+08:00

"And the disciples came and said to Him, “Why do You speak to them in parables?”
11 He answered and said to them, “Because it has been given to you to know the
mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. 12 For
whoever has, to him more will be given, and he will have abundance; but whoever
does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him. 13 Therefore I
speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do
not hear, nor do they understand. 14 And in them the prophecy of Isaiah is
fulfilled, which says: ‘Hearing you will hear and shall not understand, And
seeing you will see and not perceive; 15 For the hearts of this people have
grown dull. Their ears are hard of hearing, And their eyes they have closed,
Lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, Lest they should
understand with their hearts and turn, So that I should heal them.’
16 But
blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear; 17 for
assuredly, I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what
you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it."
-Matthew 13:10-17

How is it like to live life yearning for something fresh. Though one may have the money to explore new things but still end up unfulfilled. I found my walk with God quite routine and dull.. until I read the passage while doing my bible reading...

15 For the hearts of this people have grown dull. Their ears are hard of
hearing, And their eyes they have closed, Lest they should see with their eyes
and hear with their ears, Lest they should understand with their hearts and
turn, So that I should heal them.’

When hearts are dull and cold, we made ourselves handicapped in hearing the mysteries of heaven. When we are still before God, our hearts yielded towards Him, we hear His Voice with our hearts. Notice that everyone reads the bible and draws different amount of revelations? Jesus has a purpose for the Word to be written in mysteries! Jesus reveals revelations that are requested by each and every Christian and we are judge according to what we know. God doesn't reveal alot to a christian who is very new, if He did, the individual would end up living in condemnation, not in liberty.

I must get back on track on my walk with God and my destiny! I know too much but have yet to live out the kind of life I should lead as a Christian!

Subject to Change

2008-01-01T14:48:00.000+08:00

Lead the change or change will lead you..

Pastor Tan was sharing with us about having the ability to change to gear ourselves up for the year 2008.

I've always thoght I could adapt to changes fast but the kind of changes didn't occur to me until I lived it through. The way we handle change depends on our mindset. As a Christian myself, its a challenge to live up to the title. Being a Christian isn't about a religion we decide to take up. But its a title people will see an image of how God looks like. We are people of a different spirit then the others. For example, when people around us are worried about a global crisis happening at that moment of time, we're the ones coming out victorious and optimistic. Its not for the sake of having to be one but its all about the power of our minds. When the mind says it sees an opportunity, no matter how good or bad, situations around us will result an opportunity. I'm convicted yet excited and looking forward to each day moulding a successful life!

Last Sunday, Dear and I met up for shopping. SHE IS SO NICE TO ME. She splurge cash on me for clothes, haircut and a brand new shaver because my previous one doesn't shave clean. A total of $180! *stress*

At a Thai Restaurant eating mango rice dessert. Yummy!

We tried this dessert and it tasted nice and sweet...
...so is dear. hehe..

Last Night of 2007, I went with Dear, her sister Elene and her boyfriend Kevin, to Esplanade for countdown. ALOT OF PEOPLE OVER THERE! Its body to body contact everywhere and getting pushed around. Its hot and humid till my whole shirt was soaked. Thank God for the gust of wind to cool us and refresh the humid air.

We witness 3 fights in a row and we happen to pass by that area. If we decided to stay there, we would find ourselves involved in a brawl. Thank God! But the spirit was still good, everyone was counting down in unison as the skies were lited by fireworks as they shot through the night sky. It was a work of art and its a feeling of achievement the moment we look back how we got through 2007.

1st Christmas Date

2007-12-26T15:47:00.000+08:00

We met a photographer while we were here looking at the art work

Dear always have that sweet smile

I look awful!

Stairway to heaven

Lovely nightout

Taken at Merlion

"Although we may fight so bad sometimes
thoughts of how we're going to get through it in future, would all end up disappearing into this whirlpool of love in our well, which we share together. Photos of
us happy together makes up the water, the emotions pictured in it makes up the whirlpool element..."
-Chris

Events Events Events!

2007-12-23T00:36:00.000+08:00

Kevin's cool band, Adelaide, performing in Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream @ The Cathay

After Kevin's performance, we watched Alvin & The Chipmunks. The show was at 1:30am! While we waited, we took out the monopoly board to pass the time.

This was eve of Hari Raya Haji. We were on our way to Ashley's birthday bash. At that time we didn't saw what is coming our way.

We took this on the way to Laguna Golf Country Club. No cars on the road, so we decided to make it ours!

When we got there, we met a very wasted Ashley

Let's talk about current matters. Christmas Service today was warm and enjoyable. The drama team did put up a play enough to win hearts! It sends out a msg to me as well. When we know we need a change, we desire after it. Only when we act upon it that we would live out the change. Pictures below are scenes from during the candlelight segment.

Yongkang and Elene

Me! =)

Ian is worried his light will extinguish!

The Christmas Dog

2007-12-21T13:46:00.000+08:00

Hello! I'm trying out blogging on my phone. It has e feature. Anyway, went to Clara's a.k.a mommy, hse for Christmas party and i won $10 voucher frm Royal Sporting House! I also get to meet Oreo in his christmas clothes. Gd shot, gd pose!

Transition?

2007-12-16T04:47:00.000+08:00

Today has been one of those days my tolerance level is so limited. I often shut down in my mind, react slowly, in my own world, very distracted and in a daze.. Have i been thinking too much and not getting anything done? I lack wisdom?

Can I still be a leader?
Yes. Despite my weaknesses, God still wants to use me. In my weakness, God is made strong.

Can I rise up to another level?
Yes, only when I believe I can achieve it and see it by faith.

Action plan?
Pray for wisdom and a sharpened my spirit. Cease every opportunity and treat it like my last.

I can do it! Its time I step up and take up the challenge like a man! Being diligent and being tough on myself. No way am I going to succumb to the desires of my flesh. No Way..!

Sweet Pain

2007-12-13T00:30:00.000+08:00

I met dear just after BS. Spent quality time just gazing at each other and talking about things. Today is like falling in love all over again.. (pardon my feminine thought). Its all worth the time spent though physically tired. Heart aching when we part ways to go home.

As I was walking to the bus stop to make my way to Riverwalk, I just couldn't stop thinking of dear and I felt so much to see her again even though we met the day before. Looking back and realise all over again how bless I am with her. God is faithful and He grants us the desires of my heart. I sms-ed her whether its possible to meet me after my BS, she agreed without hesitation. *loved*

I looked back and I can't help smiling about it. Back then, I would always be the one starting an argument about meeting more often with my ex. Now, its dear who would be upset when we can't meet often. Its not a bad thing though tiring to put up with her emotions, its just so... NICE to know that my other significant yearns to see me all the time!

I can't help it! I'm blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed! Finally someone to open my heart to and be completely transparent to. Someone who gives warm hugs and kisses. Love that's not short changed but being loved more in return! Blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed! A girl who looks great on the outside with an attractive sweet smile! I seriously cannot believe she chose me!

*still wondering in awe*

God is good!

Officially a Singaporean!

2007-12-10T16:53:00.000+08:00

I went to ICA building to get my Singaporean passport! Now I really feel like a Singaporean! lol..

My Red Passport

My face

Dear had rashes ever since we went to Sentosa. It hurts to see her all red and suffering from itch. It affects her mood, eventually affects me too. Now that she is better, it paid off with all the time I had to go down to her house for visits. Keeps her smiling and happy. =)

Over the weekend, Dr. John Avanzini came to share the Word of God with us. He is highly recognised as a teacher of biblical financial truths. I think its my first time hearing what he preached.

He talked about financial integrity. Have we short changed God in our tithes and offerings. I felt convicted about the part when he shared about our pledges to building fund. Some of us pledge on convenience which works around our budget. Truth is building fund is a call to sacrificial offering. How much we as members of the church want to build God a Great House! Our budget should work around our pledges. That's when we cut cost, sacrifice our plans, fore go holidays, fore go marriage plans, which ever we're moved to let go to give God. Gonna pray again on the amount and re-plan my finances.

Dr Avanzini also shared about believing what we can have. First we have to see it in our hearts and believe 100%. Then put into action on achieving it. Its no wonder successful people are what they are now because of believing that everything they see in their hearts is achievable. They also make action plans to ensure that it comes to past. Why is it that some of us can't achieve greater heights is usually the fear in us to step into unfamiliar territory, trying new things we've never had experience in. Risk!

Achieving success requires us to change, to fit the 'bill' such as our mindset and character. Also to keep us going is passion and friends who are up there to teach us the ropes.

I'm blessed this week. Now its time to put them into action!

Staying In Tune

2007-12-03T00:53:00.000+08:00

Dear and I spent a day out at Sentosa for a sun tann. My tanning was badly done. The back of my body was nicely done but the front remained the same! Now like a car, I have a two tone colour skin.. =.="

Sentosa changed alot! The last time I recalled I was there was 2005. I really miss out alot of the island life. Anyway, I rode on the new monorail into Sentosa. Kind of simple and cool.. =)

We spent alot of time together staying silent, eating, talking about church and personal stuff! We even went into the water for a dip. Dear missed MTT because her pants were wet. She brought no change. haiz.. my bad.

Anyway, we were talking about our perspective of God. We realise that our perspective hinders us from seeing God's fullness of Love, Grace and Support. I always have this mindset that God would distant Himself away from me when I fail to do things I'm suppose to do. The fact of the matter is God always receives us with wide arms open! We enter into His Love once again when we decide to repent and run back to Him. When we reject His Love, we turn our backs on Him BUT God is always extending His arms wide open to us still to keep that opportunity open for us to come into repentance!

What a God we serve! What a God we praise and worship! King of Kings and Lord of Lords, a figure, whose robes we can never touch, desires intimacy with His creations!

Faith = Confidence

2007-12-02T00:26:00.000+08:00

"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." - Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

This verse was one of the many verses that I captured in my spirit. Today's church service was indescribably awesome! I wept and wept in the presence of God in the auditorium as Pst. Kong preached.
In the New Living Translation (NLT) version of the bible, faith means having all confidence. Then Pst. Kong mentioned Hebrews 11:6

"But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." -Hebrews 11:6 (NKJV)

I got very still..

This confidence is not referring to self confidence but faith confidence in our Abba Father in heaven. And in the verse 6, it says that without faith, its impossible to please God. So in other words, having without confidence in God displeases Him. Power of God cannot rest in us without faith confidence in Him!

All these while I've been struggling alot in confidence that God appointed me as a leader. Whenever I take the pulpit to lead praise, testimony and offering, the moment I cast aside my confidence in God, God can't work His hand on the CG through me.
That moment I feel a need to come back to basics. Know my God again. I've always thought God was a God thats hard. Things I've failed to do, I always have this impression God doesn't like it and distance Himself from me. But thats wrong! God has faith in all men including people like you and me.

And because I fear, fears paralyses me from doing things. Even though I do it, its without confidence thus God's power is paralysed! Adam, before sin entered, was fearless! He uses his mind to dominate earth and creatures living in it. But the moment sin entered, he knows he disobeyed thus casting aside his confidence in God. All confidence was lost.

I have the fear of failing. Thus cautious about how I do things only to end up being inconfident in myself being a cell group leader. But its only through my weakness that God is made perfect.

Let the weak say I am strong, let the poor say I am rich. People are attracted to what they don't have what they desire in their lives! For example, a rich man, can get anything he wants, is amazed by your life, envious to see you happy despite being hit with difficult times. =)

Thats being a living testimony to God!

Love

2007-11-29T00:10:00.000+08:00

I thank God for a chance to attend HCGL class every wednesday! Never once I came out of the room in regret. Its Lesson 6 today, so far its cool to be in that class. Today's lesson was about 'Ensuring Success in Cell Group'.

I left the room feeling excited and wanting to apply what i've learn right away! Only to come back to reality and feel downhearted. Love takes commitment. Commitment means giving my time to them. Something i feel guilty about. But i believe strength comes from God. I'll get it when I decide to minister to them!

We all found love thats beyond reason. From Jesus who gave His Life, His all for all mankind. He suffered yet called us His forever. But many has yet to experience it. Its up to us Christians to let God shine through us. Once caught in a mercy fallout, we've accomplished our purpose seeing the lost receiving salvation, which I have.

Christmas is coming! Love is in the air. =)

Mountain-moving Faith

2007-11-26T21:44:00.000+08:00

When Jesus returned to Capernaum, a Roman officer came and pleaded with him, “Lord, my young servant lies in bed, paralyzed and in terrible pain.” Jesus said, “I will come and heal him.” But the officer said, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come into my home. Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed. I know this because I am under the authority of my superior officers, and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say, ‘Go,’ and they go, or ‘Come,’ and they come. And if I say to my slaves, ‘Do this,’ they do it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed. Turning to those who were following him, he said, “I tell you the truth, I haven’t seen faith like this in all Israel!" ...then Jesus said to the Roman officer, “Go back home. Because you believed, it has happened.” And the young servant was healed that same hour. -Matthew 8:5-10,13

On my journey to completing reading the bible end to end, I came across this passage and it spoke to me deeply. Jesus commented a man having faith! But its more than that!

An officer in the Roman empire humbled himself before Jesus pleading for Him to heal his servant. If you ask me, hardly I've come across masters who wold take the trouble doing so in our contemporary times. And about his faith, it takes alot of believe to want something done. He didn't see his servant get healed, he saw it in his heart. We have the promises of God in our hands, yet we still doubt because we're moved by what we see, not believe. To me, i'm ashamed. Feels like i've backslided. A man back in those times did not experience the works of the cross, yet believes in his heart that things are possible in God! I've seen humility and mountain-moving faith!

Had quite a rough day ytd with dear. I was foolish to utter nonsense. Spoiled our night after watching a fairy-tale movie. I hope everything is fine now. Just went out for a jog to take a breather. Reflecting abt my life especially about what i've done ytd.

Find it hard to forgive myself hurting the girl who gave all of her heart to me. It breaks my heart realising the pain i've inflicted on her time and time again. Picuring her innocent smile in my mind makes me fall alot more in love with her. Even though I'm feeling at my limit but its no excuse! Got to be stronger! the sky is the limit. All things possible through Christ who strengthens me!

Pain

2007-11-22T09:24:00.000+08:00

On monday i extracted my problematice wisdom tooth. It was out of alignment, grown out of place. Dentist said to get it extracted asap. Quite an experience though, after injecting anesthesia ard e extracted site, that area went numb. So numb i felt i lost a part of my mouth! The dentist drilled through the tooth to cut it into 2 pieces for easy extraction, then he made it so simple to uproot the tooth from my gums! My wisdom tooth got two tails rooting it to my gums. Scary.. Dear was nice to come by and visit me. Got a kiss on my left cheek from her. =)

Since the surgery, i've been experiencing excessive bleeding. But glad it stopped few hrs later. The next day, my left cheek swelled! I looked like i juz got punched on the face la. lol! Was struck by migrane towards the evening, so didn't go for leader's meeting eventually.

Yesterday (Wednesday), Pst Aries taught in HCGL class today. Taught as how to be a qualified leader. This lesson challenged my values so much, i sank in my heart but on the outside, listening attentively to what he says. To me, all the points he shared boils down to discipline. When we discipline our lives, concecrate it to the Lord, people will look up to you and respect you as a leader. They have to see Jesus in you in flesh. A living testimony on how the gospel is applied. The living proof!

Amen!

Bigger Place

2007-11-17T12:15:00.000+08:00

Hello! been MIA-ing for 8 days? been busy with lots of stuff including sleeping. Had a great time with Shireen (girlfriend) last friday though things didn't turn out as wad we planned. Went to Ajisen for lunch and then caught a movie at Plaza Singapura. We decided on the movie 'The Gameplan' featuring Dwyane Johnson a.k.a The Rock.

Personally I thought he outdid himself in this movie coming from a different entertainment background like the WWF. He showcased himself being part of a play which requires him to do ballerina! After the movie, went home to change to attend the BBG meeting. Serious stuff!

Been struggling with my life's transition. New things in my life that requires me to cast aside my 'old man'. Pst. Phil spoke about going into a bigger place. He says the old man wants to be in the promise land but the fact is he can't, only the new man can. The old man is bounded with limits, old habits & old mindsets. These things hinder him from possessing the land. I struggle with thoughts that i can't be a leader, can name you a thousand and one reasons. Then God left an impression in my heart, "...if those thoughts didn't exist in our vocabulary?" My eyes opened!

Overwhelmingly Consumed

2007-11-12T19:30:00.000+08:00

I'm still finding it hard to make time to really spend time with God. Physically exhasted everyday busy being busy! My last lasting experience was long ago. Everyday i'm completly swept off.

Can't wait for e 10th of Dec to hv my room back. Solace is golden to me now. Need to be alone with God in His presence to receive my stregth n to lift my burdens. Last weekend Pst. Ulf spoke in service. It served as a strong reminder how much i need God present in my life. I remember Pst. Phil shared in church abt his ministry. How he often feels weighed down everyday when he gets up frm bed. He described it as 'world crashing down on him'. But it took a decision out of him to change his atmosphere for e day: PRAY!

The things in my hands are not for me to bear but God. God uses me to be His hands to deal with His Work on earth. I need to stretch myself. Though tired i hv to discipline myself to make time to pray & read His Word more consistently.

Speaking of hands, do you find it amazing that our hands NEVER DISOBEYED us? When we need it, it'll obey & do as we want it to do. definitely we'd say e hands has no brains to work on its own. True! Its dead! Same thing with us, God can be effective when we're dead towards our will & all for His! Its not Him benefitting alone, we get e satisfaction bcuz we see results at e same time see God move personally! We get ultimate satisfaction bcuz we're made for a specific purpose.

our hands main purpose is to hold things & change things. we dun use them to kick e ball when playing soccer or run with it instead of our feet! they are more effective when we use them for e rite purpose. Same for God! He uses us only for a specific purpose!

Wow! Honestly i wasn't thinking of sharing this. Wad a revelation!

my confidence comes from the Lord..

New Information

2007-11-05T09:52:00.000+08:00

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." - Romans 12:2

Often I asked myself why is that some people who have been in church for years yet lives not changed. then i realised their mindset is not changed.

They are in a condusive environment where people encourage each other constantly. yet they are still not changed! Dr. A.R Bernard once came to teach in service about our success & failure, how both results are linked.

New Information => Mind => Beliefs => Self-Esteem => Actions = >
Results = > Habits => Success / Failure.

When people receive new information and know that they can be winners & overcomers, their mind & beliefs change and their lives change soon after. But when they don't accept it or they don't apply action to it, they live the same.

"One person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind." - Romans 14:5

The verse says if only we are convinced that we accept it and willing to change to live by it, then we can see our lives taking shape of being a successful person.

No one can change the way we think, only WE OURSELVES can.

Lets DECIDE to live a changed life for God!

Commitment

2007-11-01T07:14:00.000+08:00

I chance upon a wedding vow, here is a sample:

I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. I, (name), take you, (name), to be my (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward.
In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

A vow with an escape clause? Funny how some marriages end amicably b4 death do them part.

We've been confessing alot between us. A life, a family, a house, a car, a future.. isn't tt wads been really in our hearts all e time. especially mine.. all this while?

730am.. i hv to go work.. i'd write more when i come back..

Singing out

2007-10-30T06:57:00.000+08:00

You Are My Strength
Reuben Morgan

Verse 1:
You are my strength, strength like no other
Strength like no other reaches to me
You are my hope, hope like no other
Hope like no other reaches to me

Chorus:
In the fullness of your grace
In the power of Your Name
You lift me up
You lift me up

Verse 2:
Unfailing love, stronger than mountains
Deeper than oceans reaches to me

Bridge:
Your Love oh Lord
Reaches to the hea - vens
Your Faithfulness
Reaches to the skies

Prayer

2007-10-28T23:58:00.000+08:00

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God" Philippians 4:6

Prayer is our gateway to receiving our miracles & our needs. Inspired by Yoido Full Gospel Church! saw their documentary video on wad e church lays its foundation on. Growth was tremendous even though e church run in a traditional manner! all bcuz e pple were hungry to pray!
I really believe tt prayer is e only way out when we feel we're cornered by circumstances. all we need is faith, trusting God tt He wld make a way for us! Step into e realm of e unknown! When u feel fear grips u when coming into sight with situations, tts where ur opportunity lies to step into e unknown.

SVC 1 was good. Prayer meeting was awesome!

If I can SEE IT, I can HAVE IT!

Had a great time with Dear.. ate prata for lunch together, went for prayer meeting together, sat together during prayer meeting, ate laksa dinner together, laughed together, play together.. every sunday night, when its 10pm, we'd feel this sinking feeling of parting ways to go back home knowing going through another week w/o seeing each other until e next weekend. BUT God is gonna handle it! He brought us together, surely He'd bless it!

A Week of Miracles

2007-10-27T02:19:00.000+08:00

Life now is so much different compared to mnths ago when i was still in army. Back then during weekdays wld wake up in e mornings to fall in for 1st parade @ 745am. At 1130pm, we wld hv lunch at e cookhouse then go up to bunk n nap!

Now, there is no time for this. Everyday is always a new day with new challenges in work. New boundaries in life to conquer. Life full of change. Getting use to it. Every friday evening i wld crash on my bed & KO for e nite.

Looking forward to e end of e yr when my contract at Cold Storage will end. then i'm off for my hols b4 3 yrs of tough life. By then i wld be juggling 4 major things in my life:-
1. Work
2. Studies
3. Ministry
4. Relationship

i do not know how things will turn out, but i believe God is there to give me strength & wisdom to manage these things better. Just when i thought time passes slowly. I think Time has juz caught up with me.

Last Sunday, went to e zoo to racky e place for YA GT zone outing coming Nov 4. Along with Victor, Shixiong, Kevin, Xiaoyun, Liping & dearest! we really let our hair down, enjoyed fellowship especially. Mind renewed. Victor & Shixiong were quite lame & entertaining. here are e pictures!

Girlfriend & me at the Singapore Zoo

Keep your eyes to yourself cheeky kangoo!

Seen here with leaders. Revelation! haha!

Mr. Goat

Zoo receives approval for YA Zone Outing!

Lord of Lords

2007-10-20T01:09:00.000+08:00

My life isn't wad it is now w/o You. Even when life juz got better, still life was made & shaped by You. Life is enjoyable bcuz of You, life has meaning bcuz of You. Forever You will reign in my heart. Love unfailing.. What more can a creation ask for from his creator? We don't deserve a love like tt but God, Lord of Lords, says WE DO.

Its too late, e sacrifice has been made. Love is proven. His Son on the cross for all the world's sins and affirmities. Past, present and future.

Divine & Gracious

2007-10-19T00:44:00.000+08:00

Tuesday 16/10/07
this week had been one of e busiest i've been in. Tuesday dad flew back to indo & Shireen came. Was talking to her in office & played dare with her. Asked her if she wanted to come, that way can compensate foregoing her dad's b'day dinner. She said ok. Rushed down by cab all e way frm her hse in e midst of tending to her CG member's needs. Whats more to see frm her? that day we decided to make our relationship official. =) Gabriel's sms had quite an impact on it by wishing me a blessed day. Indeed..

Wednesday 17/10/07
Shireen came over to my workplace to hv lunch with me. Took leave to see arrangements for her dad's dinner. On tt pt of time, i was still waiting to receive news abt e venue where HCGL class wld be held at. News came in & i was feeling God's divinity upon my situation! Its postponed to next week! that means i can attend Shireen's dad b'day dinner!
We went to cafe cartel to celebrate e occasion. Uncle Ho was a happy man. Soon will upload pictures as soon as i have them.

Lately I realise I haven't been sharing my bible revelations for a long time.. better get back to reading e bible with an open heart.

Father in Heaven, words cannot describe how grateful You made things revolve ard my desires. You've been faithful indeed! You've turned my mourning into dancing. I've made that decision to place You 1st above all else, my reward was seeing Your hand move over my life. Your Love is evident to me now in my life. All i can say is Thank You. =)

Today marks our day

2007-10-16T21:16:00.000+08:00

From friends to lovers on 16th October 2007

I still remember at e beginning of this yr i had a feeling i wld find someone. It happened! =) Everything seems right. Surely way better than e past cuz in this relationship, God is always at e centre of it. She is next to Jesus. A heart tt always hv compassion for people. I like pple who loves pple. =)

Heartbreaker

2007-10-16T10:32:00.000+08:00

its heartbreaking for me to disappoint someone who always have looked up to u & feel emotionally attached to u.

its draining when Sinda recommend strongly not to miss HCGL class for Shireen's dad b'day dinner. both r important but which one wld take up priority? decided. i felt hurt to hv turn down e invitation. felt emotionally tired so decided on going home to do QT, foregoing a chance to meet Shireen. tt was heartbreaking to her. BUT glad its resolved on e same nite. =)

so many things on my mind now abt CG. m i doing things rite? it seems we're doing well with plans at hand this week to do visitation. =) all i can do now is to pray n seek God's guidance. This CG won't work w/o God's divine guidance & anointing on it.

Draw me near to Your Throne as I lay at Your feet worshipping and enjoying Your presence. I'm Your servant yet You want to acknowledge me as friend. How privilege it is to serve e King of all Kings!

Happy

2007-10-15T00:29:00.000+08:00

H-A-P-P-Y! glad e weekends r here but gone as i write this entry. had dinner at manhattan fish market restaurant! so far e best meal i ever had! not only tt, e dinner table has grown bigger by a person. hehe.. all of us enjoyed e chats & jokes we shared. totally a different atmosphere with e additional 'her' around.

Sat service was an experience to behold. As Pst Kong shared his message, a sermon i've heard b4 but received it in a different perspective. throughout tt time i was gripped with fear as he preached abt reality being an issue limiting us. being a CGL in time to come, gripped by e fact i was really going to lose myself. A period of more pruning, letting go of some more unwanted stuff in my life. it'll be hard pressing on all sides & aspects. breaking limits means breaking boundaries. i know i'm gonna walk on water. as i decide to let go of everything & let God handle them, e fear subsides... its no longer I but Christ tt lives in me! i surrendered..

Lord i offer myself on e altar as a living sacrifice. Rid me of myself. a decision tt i've made up to walk through it. no turning back.. no turning back..

Mummy & Sisca

Seafood Platter for 2!

Shireen's passenger view of her driver

Burned

2007-10-13T01:07:00.000+08:00

I thank God for His strength that brought me through each day. Nv once had a black face despite being physically tired. Monday went out with Sisca to shop for Kevin's belated present. We talked & discussed abt spiritual affairs. Hard nut. Shireen got upset at work, went over to her place to comfort her. only to get 'bullied' by her family. i didn't do much but she said my presence there really put a smile back to her face.

Tuesday was my 1st leaders meeting. an eye opener as Pst Derek shared e core concerns of e church. Plans changed and a time of real worship among saint whose hearts chose to rise up being leaders. its a totally different atmosphere! Pst Derek blew through e microphone. everyone fell under e power of God!

Wed onwards was a trying period. emotionally, physically, mentally drained. hv to hold back my emotions, run errands and make time to be with e family & members in CG. Its been fruitful all week! Pst Kong says a tired person is one who changes e world. =)

Weekends r finally here! get to wake up later than 8am! I've experienced true Sabbath!

God, whatever it is. Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
Seeing the world seeking love at all the wrong places. Knowing You could have
provided that perfect love only to reject it. I lay everything at ur feet. Trusting only best things will follow after as I seek after whats in Your heart.

Learning

2007-10-07T09:07:00.000+08:00

Service on sat was gd. crowds turn up, e perfect atmosphere to share the church vision! Pst Kong shared abt how we have to step up another level in our mentality. Living out one is surely difficult. I teared upon hearing Pst. Kong's declaration, "All for His Kingdom!"

We herald e pple with praise who take up studies, hold jobs and even a CG leader themselves. they wld always look cheerful & smile on stage. after going through a piece of wad they r experiencing, i can understand why even though they r stretched, they wld still smile cuz there is a fulfillment in their lives they made their life count for God as well as for themselves.

I'm gonna live a life similar to them as well starting January. Surely no time for nonsense, time has to be streamline to focus on important things. I'd be studying part time in PSB, gonna work full time, hopefully in an engineering company, which allows me to work frm 8am to 5pm, training to be a CGL and likely a relationship in e future? Life is gonna be so fast paced, i hv to be careful with my own spiritual life. Thank God i hv friends whom i know wld cheer me on to run this phase of life. though tired, i'd still come out victoriously growing alot stronger in character and in spirit! I'm excited! =)

i've now come to realise there is still so much i've yet to know abt u. i'm sorry if e things i've shared alot tts abt my past made u upset. there is still much to learn for me n i hope u wld give me chances to improve. i'm imperfect & i hope u wld be gracious towards me as i learn to be a better man. wad i can promise & assure u is tt i wld put in my very best effort to make u e happiest girl.

God's eyes

2007-10-04T01:01:00.000+08:00

world is in chaos. fights, politics, scandals r everywhere. most of e time we seem to be consume by our problems n situations we face. gabriel shared tt when we see in God's perspective, e problem becomes small n when we look back, we see ourselves being foolish. similar to e analogy of being in a plane. When we're in e land of Singapore, it seems big, when u're up there in e sky, singapore is so small. same with our circumstances!

i'm thankful for God & proud of myself taking e path i'm now in. if u ask me wad hv i accomplish so far in life. i wld hv to say i hv accomplish ridding myself time after time n making it making it through to where i m now. when we look forward, its always a sight of uncertainty. when we look back on how far u've gone, u'd be amazed! i'm hving a ball of a time trusting God. coupled with frustration, tears & joy, i hv nv regretted giving most of myself to Him. i repent i do complain but overall, life is an adventure for me.

i've experience grace. made a right decision to confront it or i wld hv missed e train for good. its all my 1st time & i've done well to handle it so far. she is happy again as a result... even happier? i'm happy. =)

Moment of Folly

2007-10-01T20:16:00.001+08:00

Lazy yet cute as always..

a cross tt covered my leaking blood

Hello! made this in mac while waiting for Shireen to finish her meal

e comp is running again! i do not know wad happen to it but i guess it got spyware flu. can't connnect to e internet n it changed colour! e taskbar only.

kept myself busy e whole of last week. sold my louya N80 n decided to get e k810i by signing an early extention to my mobile subscription. felt so handicap la. things snowballed to wed, thurs n fri. got tired eventually n gave in to my body's screams of exhaustion. took MC on fri n sat i didn't go help out in Children's church. i could hv but decided to rest n nurse a headache.

on saturday i went for e HCGL class interview. it shooked me! really left e presence of Jimmy & Marie thinking abt my spiritual life. "its not enuf to pray just 30 mins everyday" tt phrase burned into my heart until now. its so true being a leader isn't easy. u rise easily, u fall easily. e path is so narrow there is not even a day u'd survive seating on e fence as time pass. i hv to start disicplining myself to pray an hr everyday. though i may not hv e luxury of having my own room, i gotta make it happen! my finance? suffered a leaking pocket everyday. spending money till it got so out of control. i hv to start planning n counting e cost.

on sun i went for blood donation with Shireen & Yongkang. e worst happened. Jo saw Shireen & myself together. raising her eye brows momentarily n e look on her face tells me she believes in wad she is seeing. so far a handful of pple saw me. leaders in e zone, friends, cg members.. quite an introduction for e past 6 weeks. fun times.. =p

New Blogskin

2007-09-29T11:49:00.000+08:00

Out with the old, in with the NEW!

And I didn't do the whole thing at all. Someone did... someone with amazing talent for html. Addicted to it too.. tsk tsk tsk.. =p

2007-09-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

Hosanna by Hillsong

I see the King of Glory
coming on the clouds with fire
the whole earth shakes
the whole earth shakes, yea...

I see His love and mercy
washing over all our sin
the people sing
the people sing

Chorus:
Hosanna... Hosanna...
Hosanna in the highest
Hosanna...Hosanna...
Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation
rising up to take their place
with selfless faith
with selfless faith

I see a near revival
stirring as we pray and seek
we're on our knees
we're on our knees

Bridge:
heal my heart and make it clean
open up my eyes to the things unseen
show me how to love like You have loved me
break my heart for what breaks Yours
everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
as I walk from earth into eternity

Fletcher: The Charming Hamster

2007-09-23T18:52:00.000+08:00

Fletcher posing for a CK ad

Lazy Fletcher

Hungry Fletcher

i sent Shireen off last friday b4 she went to Genting. got frm her 2 sandwhich which looked like sushi rolls! looks nice, taste nice. Fletcher was well received into e family. suprising actually cuz we haven't got a pet since we moved into Serangoon North. tt was 7 yrs ago! Kevin especially was charmed by his cuteness. He read up on internet abt hamsters on e net straight away! lol! told his gf abt it too, and she made plans to come down n see. Fletcher is such a charmer. me? he tried to bite me whenever i hold him in my hands. tsk tsk tsk.. We even bought him an exercise ball to run ard e house and a new bottle to ensure his needs are better met. =D

Saturday Pst Kong, was preaching abt giving but in a more dynamic way which also applies to our lives. Step out into e realm of fear, stay in the Land of Promise. Everytime we build a church, we build an alter unto God so tt through e church, God can touch e world. Blessings, promises, visions are channeled down to us through e church.

Fletcher is walking ard e house now..

Feeling e strain..

2007-09-20T22:52:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling it already.. e strain.. yet i know i must go on. physically demanding.. probably with all e late nite sleeps i end up during e early week. tired. BUT i'm enjoying it anyways!

Fletcher is staying over for 3 days. kinda excited abt it! lol! as much as i want him to myself, i can't, 'big boss' dun allow. my mum sms-ed me during work telling me she bought dinner home for me. i replied "Yes boss!". She replied, "Must say bog boss ok. Pls dun forget e word 'big'. its impressive.." probably my sister helped to reply, who knows? lol!

Fletcher

'Yes' in tears

2007-09-19T00:11:00.000+08:00

Lanterns along Sago Temple

Darker Version -.-"

The famous street Hawker

My boring office

What's this?! Whoose feet?!

went for dinner with Shireen. spelt S-H-I-R-E-E-N! long huh.. lol! we met up to see e lanterns on display. e place was like china town. =p we ate char-kway-teow for dinner. mine was indonesian style while hers was singaporean. no diff except for e colour. -.-" we went ard till time past so fast. i finally know where Maxwell Market is! didn't know there was this modern buddhist temple somewhere near Sago Rd.

but e main highlight was in Bukit Panjang. i'll nv forget tt staircase landing between e 3rd & 4th floor in a residential block at Bangkit Rd. i was totally quiet over e phone with Sinda as he spoke his piece. he laid out everything infront of e table. all summed up to this qn:"Do you REALLY want to be a leader?"

"Need some time to think abt it?", he asked. With tears streaming down my face, i said "No need, i want to be a leader!". Its time i change my mentality. e current one will not do! i'm prepared to face e worst possible outcome. my family wld be displeased, losing friends, all in e name of Christ. Life is going to be tough. But i've seen pple coming out of it victoriously.

so what if i'm working? so what if i'm gonna juggle studies with work? so what if i have to commit to leader's class? i dun believe i'd be destroyed. if God can lead me to this, He will bring me through it. Its a matter of whether YOU and I are willing to take His hand!!

"i've never experience a peace so real in my heart until 2day... e day e batton was passed"

True Humility

2007-09-15T23:55:00.000+08:00

an achievement today: clear up my stuff frm camp. tidy up my table. *twis*

gave bs to Ronnie Low. his 2nd last lesson on Getting Started, wanted to give him e last one but it was juz too long. didn't want to go through with him juz like tt, need time to explain things to him so tt he can better understand where he stands in God when it comes to God's plan for prosperity.

after service was e highlight! went for AFV bible study class. it was enriching! left e class wow-ed! i now truly know wad it means when pple say "you take one step to God, God will take a million steps towards you." Let me tell you readers why.

There is a heavenly hirachy. They r catagorised in this manner:

Thrones (God)

Dominian

Principalities (Arch Angels Lucifer, Gabriel, Michael)

Power (eg. Adolf Hitler)

Ruler

Lower than ruler (us pewnee pple)

God is at the throne level along with Jesus. understand this tt Jesus was crown in glory and honour. had stature in e heavens. have angels worship Him. when God called for Him to be a sacrifice for all mankind to redeem us (e pewnee pple) frm their sin. He didn't hesitated.

This is wad Jesus did:

He emptied himself - He strip His glory, his title as God.

He took the form of a servant - Chose to serve

He came in e likeness of man (us pewnee pple) - so that He can experience death

He was found in e appearance of man - to relate to the pple in the world

He humbled Himself - chose to be born into a humble family. how much more humble to have ur head laid on hay when u're born! From dominance to man, tts humility

Endured e ultimate fate of all man: death - He died as a sacrifice

Even in death, He died e worst possible death for a human - took e punishment worst of a criminal's

Jesus chose to strip all honour and glory, all for a greater purpose. something He can choose not to do yet He did it 2000 yrs ago.

If u think ur sins r too great, look at e hirachy again..

If u think u dun deserve His sacrifice, too late.

If u think there is no God. u're a fool.

If u think n doubt God loves u, think again. (look at my hirachy chart again)

'Speechless on e magnitude of how much You love me and others around me especially those who despise You. I stand in awe wondering why i deserve a love tts unconditional. Jesus died b4 i was even born!'

nv felt so free and loved.. =)

I don't care!

2007-09-15T00:02:00.000+08:00

"I don't care, God will make a way!" tts denying urself. tts trusting God. tts having faith in Him.

i juz started work not long ago. pretty tough on e 1st day. was clueless e whole day on wad i'm doing. towards e end, i slowly understand. kinda regret signing for this job. all i do is sit in front of e comp and work. to chat with others is like mere impossible! not fun.. after work wld be tons of things to settle regarding CG. always find myself monotonous whenever i start toking after work. tired? dead? i dunno. i feel dead in e inside.. bad..

2 more weeks b4 dad comes back and i have to decide whether i want to go overseas to study. life here is hectic especially now Sinda is pushing me to be trained as a CGL. its really a big step off my comfort zone. loose myself, park tt introvert me aside while i engage boldly in e things of God.

"Is my soul well rested? i feel i haven't landed properly in e arms of my Father."

1 Corinthians 2:9

2007-09-11T17:00:00.000+08:00

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him" 1 Corinthians 2:9 (NLT)

as i read 1 Corinthians, this verse jumped on me. Holy Spirit prompted me, "how real is this verse to you?" I understand what He meant.

So many times we always asked ourselves why we're in this 'mess'. God has a plan for everything even in our circumstances. if everything was to go in our way, isn't tt deviating frm God's plans? ah! when things get too comfortable. Beware!

i'm feeling abit upbeat waiting on for a direction where shld i go from here. should i go to australia next feb? should i take a course here and juggle work at e same time or should i work 1st then study in a yr or 2? all i know is tt i can't run away frm e fact tt i have to be a CGL.

i did my QT juz now. b4 i went off, i had this thought God might hold back. Until Shireen said this:"nah dont feel guilty!!! =) go talk to ya father.. he wanna talks to you LOL!" apart frm e 'LOL', wad she said has an important point. i always keep putting myself down thinking, 'oh God won't be happy with me, my QT isn't consistent' Fact is God is more than happy e moment our heart is set to Him. if He can welcome a backslider with open arms so many times, how much more wld He do e same with a believer who hasn't given up on Him?! WOW!

I spent an hr in my room. 40 mins praying & worshipping, 20 mins reading 1 Corinthians. 5 mins, 10 mins through with e guitar, nothing happens. then He came into e room & warmed my heart with His Love. He put up a flash presentation in front of my eyes, photos of times when i was still in my mum's womb, to a baby, to a white kid, to a teenager, to now. God put up with my nonsense, brought me through my pain and my joy. imagine army! lots of encounters! so many divine appoinments! exclaimation marks everywhere! =P

it was a time of thanksgiving, a time i found rest, tea time with God.

The Stand by Joel Houston

Intro:

Verse 1:

You stood before creation

eternity in Your hand

You spoke the earth into motion

My soul now to stand

Verse 2:

You stood before my failure

And carried the cross for my shame

My sin weighed upon Your shoulders

My soul now to stand

PreChorus:

So what can I say

And what could I do

But offer this heart O God

Completely to You

Verse 3:

So I'll walk upon salvation

Your Spirit alive in me

This life to declare Your promise

My soul now to stand

Chorus:

So I'll stand

With arms high and heart abandoned

In awe of the One who gave it all

I'll stand

My soul Lord to You surrendered

All I am is Yours

Coda:

So what can I say

And what could I do

But offer this heart O God

Completely to You

ORD LO!

2007-09-11T09:52:00.000+08:00

the road was long and hard till e very end. seriously.. so hard to ORD when u dun pass ur IPPT? not tt i'm weak or wad. its pull ups tts e problem. anyway, this morning i send Sisca to skool, then went somewhere to sleep for 45 mins b4 going off to camp.

it feels great to have e same freedom i had b4 i went into army. Blue IC.. bagged with emotions. e 1st day in army, difficulties i went through, and of course e friends i made in army. its a new lease of life ever since i got out of tt shell.

ytd i met up with fellow helpers in CG. discuss abt e badminton event we're gonna have this fri. after tt i drove to tampines with Ian to recce e place. spent quality time listening out his soft cries frm his heart. memories juz hit him upon arriving in tampines. something i'm suprise to be honest.

Put to action!

2007-09-10T01:33:00.000+08:00

Sunday morning! i got up n woke e whole family up to get ready for service. I'm so sure they r blessed by it. service was better today. i felt ytd Nick was holding back quite a bit due to time constraint? i believe Pst Tan handed him sun's svc to share n preach. he was on fire. in touch with e congregation. he is e miracle! all of us r e miracle!

after tt i went for BS lesson 1. e shortest lesson i ever had. only 30 mins! went for a 2 min jog with Shireen. interrupted by a call frm Sisca. e ring tone rang through e forest la! before we knew it, it was dark. so we ate prata, walked ard Thompson Plaza doing window shopping in a super market. i can't believe i had so much fun 2day! lol!

when is it gonna be e time?

bidding my time.

soon.. very soon..

More than a conqueror!

2007-09-09T01:51:00.000+08:00

Meet Nick Vujicic!

he is a living testimony for all to see that God is made strong through our weaknesses!

More than just inspired..
Learn to operate faith..
Seeing things in the perspective of God..

"count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
Knowing that the testing of your faith
produces patience.
But let patience have its perfect work,
That you may be perfect and complete,
Lacking nothing!"
James 1:2-4

There's no joy in my circumstances, but there's joy in the purpose of my circumstances!
:)

Small eyes and little fletcher
are sleeping soundly..
:D

Results = Effort applied x Distance gone

2007-09-06T21:54:00.000+08:00

nice food?

who is this?

TIRED AH...!!! juz came back frm Johor. went there with Shireen & her 'siblings'. she calls them 'da ge' & 'da sao'. kind of fun but towards e end i was so tired i hardly toked! my world was spinning i could hardly think straight too. i bought a pair of cargos & a white autobot t-shirt to go along with it. oh, i also bought a bluetooth adaptor for the comp! i also got a Spongebob Squarepants Passport sleeve frm Shireen. I feel so not a man la! they paid taxi fare, food & more food. Blessings? I ACCEPT! but not frm a woman la. *men's ego*

i think e highlight 2day was after e trip. i had to fight to stay awake. Shake off e tiredness to stay focus abt e attendance. as of now, Raymond is coming for tmr's zone meeting! after so long, a day b4 i ORD officially, he said yes. i was encouraged how Shireen pressed Ronnie (a.k.a da ge) to come for make up CG. tt opened my eyes & press on to attaining this result. last week, one of e SOT graduate took centre stage & shared a Word.

Results = Effort applied x Distance gone

tts e equation tt WOWED me. its so true! Life revolves ard tt equation when it comes to challenges! I'm pleased with myself. *pats own back* =)

4 more days to ORD!

2007-09-03T10:13:00.000+08:00

Terence, my dear friend, left for New Jersey to study Accountancy. Anyway, lots of his friends rally to send him off at e airport! imagine 3 grps, not 3 friends, and e grp consist of 10+ pple. i'm wondering how he left behind a legacy in Singapore.

I was nodding away in service on saturday. my bad. was tired out esp when i'm running on a few hrs of sleep. e spirit is alive but e flesh is so weak. e moment i close my eyes to worship God. i'd almost collapse into eternity of sleep! but still i got e msg. WALK THE NARROW WAY! though i may have fallen off course so many times. BUT GOD's hand always extends out to help us back on our feet.

Sunday was a day contradiction was e most profound in my life! e day b4 mum wasn't keen on going to COMEX. we persuaded her to buy a wireless router & adaptors by telling her hos neat e house wld be and how is it gonna affect future tenants. in e end, she went. BUT ON THAT DAY, we spent 5 hrs looking ard e place! not bcuz it was jam packed, but we went ard finding a laptop & a digital camara for her! everyone in e family was shopping except me, despite being e 1st member in e family to know. but still i got 2 free tickets to watch a movie in Cathay. =)

I Need You

2007-09-01T00:15:00.000+08:00

I Need You by David Yem

CAME HERE IN SILENCE
BOWING IN REVERENCE
WHISPERS OF LOVE
NOTHING ELSE MATTERS
TO BE IN YOUR PRESENCE
JUST WORLD'S APART

I STAND IN AWE
IN WONDER OF YOU
YOUR MAJESTY
ANCIENT AND GLORIOUS
THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD
AND YOU LIVE IN ME
YOU CAPTURED MY HEART
YOU SET ME APART

Chorus:
I NEED YOU , I NEED YOU IN ME
COME AND BREATHE UPON ME
SPIRIT HOLD ME CLOSE WITHIN

Bridge:
I'LL WAIT ON YOU
AS YOU PASS ON THROUGH
I'LL WAIT ON YOU
FOR YOUR TOUCH ANEW

Encouraged! Father i thank you for giving me persistence to have a desire to seek after revelations. Seek after excellence and a heart looking to share to Your people a Word that comes only from You. I thank you for leaders who inspired me through my time in church. People who believe in me. Friends who thinks highly of me when i don't. Close friends who saw my potential when i doubt. Most of all a God who sticks with me though in my heart is in doubt.
Teach me, mould me, use me. Break me if you have to. I'm yours for the making: a history maker.

My Last Day

2007-08-31T14:07:00.000+08:00

Last nite i booked into camp to stay for e last nite. as i walked up the hill (thought: my last walk up the hill), i bashed through spider webs. man! i felt like a destroyer. hehe.. DIE SPIDERS, DIE! as soon as i reached, i changed then went down to eat. oh! also prayed for shireen for her troubling stomach. i think bread is e cure. lol..

spent half a day in camp today. everyone woke up late. e whole battalion is in PLC preparing for army open house. cool man.. no wonder e bunk looks like its been hit by a tornado. hope CSM dun see this. lol! as e day draws to a close, as i walked out of e medical centre, i bumped into my senior medic. He said i shldn't have come down. "i didn't know" i said. "you could have asked", he replied. wah lau.. if i know i need not come, probably could have been working earning money now! NNNOOO.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tt pretty much sums up my last book in. ;-) Next week its collect-IC time.. Hooray!

What is my perspective of life?

2007-08-30T15:55:00.000+08:00

When i say life, i mean e contents of it. The past, present and future. How u see challenges, future challenges and past failures. are we optimistic, or pessimistic. i dunno why but i always receive insights abt life when i watch movies.

i just watched Music & Lyrics, courtesy of an "orange external hard disk" =) its abt a guy who use to be in a famous band. their careers took a nose dive when one of e members left to make a solo album. slowly e band's reputation dies off, actually leaving a remnant of fans. then he met a girl who seems to be born with a gift to write songs once inspiration hits her. soon they both worked together and they both mould careers in e music industry frm there. thing is, during their work, flaws start to surface. he still lives with old values, pessimistic thinking, falling on their beliefs, and mediocrity. e girl shows him e way, stood by him and eventually became his girl. sweet.. =)

feel like a girl oooh-ing, awww-ing at all e sweet things e girl did for e guy. *embarrass*

Happy Birthday Sisca!

2007-08-30T00:13:00.000+08:00

Its Sisca's Birthday! Her 15th Birthday. e baby girl in e family is all grown up.my plans was kind of last min after knowing there is CGM held in my house then knowing Sisca is going for tuition so can't bring her out. Decided on buying sushi for her. in e end i ate most of them. lol..

2day i went to AMK Hub. not knowing suprise will hit me hard. i only planned to get a music headset for my phone frm Nokia. to my suprise, the Nokia shop is selling it for $58! $10 more than e one at Wheelock! i went for lunch while Kevin check up e price for e headset in City area. $48 also. then i thought abt NTUC at e basement. heard they sell electronic stuff. not only did i buy my music headset, i got my 30GB iPod video too! i chance upon a display, i saw them in e glassdisplay box.

Father God couldn't have made this alot happier today... actually He can.

'Suprise me God'

'Pek Chek'

2007-08-29T00:32:00.000+08:00

Went ard Orchard to look for 30GB iPod video. everything was in place, e money & e discount card but no stock. "sorry, they stop production for it". my heart sank.. nvm.. a new model will be out soon. will wait for it. Patience is a virtue. *meditating*

i feel guilty bringing Shireen with me all over Orchard, gd thing she likes to walk. Phew!

i juz got an sms frm Sinda tt he enrolled me into CGL class. mix feelings..

i think i'm distracted, its affecting me. on e way home frm town, juz cannot get it off my mind, reluctant to go home. smiles whenever i have nice recent memories of those days but feel pain & helpless abt it. emotions screaming wanting to do more but knowing tt by doing so wld mess things up. i'm still e same as b4, am i? ever impulsive..

"my eyes have to be on my Creator. Seek His Kingdom first and all things will follow after."

A good jog will keep the headaches away

2007-08-27T22:21:00.000+08:00

tested & proven! a mild jog for 45 mins non stop can cure a headache! tts for me la.. i had a nitemare last night tt i weigh 80kg! i woke up frm my sleep w/o hesitation! lol! thinking back abt tt morning, seriously its funny.

yesterday Sinda called for a meeting between e bros in CG. issues address to make things rite. after tt, Ian & I caught Bourne Ultimatum. my goodness! had a slight headache b4 e movie. in e theater, as e movie was screening, it was filmed in a way they used handycams to make e movie. imagine e screen keep bouncing, shifting here, there, everywhere! literally my brains can't take it, probably spinning out of control! after e movie i went home, took panadol & Knocked.Out.i missed e man utd match. gd thing they won 1-0 over Tottenham. a Nani screamer! AAOOUU!!!

Savings funds release!

2007-08-26T00:46:00.000+08:00

after tt blunder on wed nite (famous U-turn home frm camp), i went back home to actually watch England lose 2-1 to Germany. Seriously giving up on them. so much potential yet they win nothing. Boasting abt their history but nv get anything rite on international level. Probably its e reputation they build on e English Premeire League tt drew supporters. for now i'll wait for e next Euro Cup or World Cup to see who i'd support. most likely wld be Portugal. =)

after tt match i received a call on e 4th hr of my sleep. Din called, i totoally forgot i pormised to replace him for Alert Red for hald a day cuz he is taking his TP. so went down in e afternoon. Din passed his driving test! happy for him. end of e day, i was told to go for medical cover on sat.

on sat i went for my cover and guess wad, things went so wrong. walked into service totally pissed. glad i came out a happy man. personally i was at fault for not having those loose ends tied up. had a gd talk with Sinda. Seriously a gd talk...

went home to tok to my mum abt getting a soft loan. Comex is coming next weekend n i'm buying an iPod video. i lost my nano... wherever it is... cost $436 for a 30GB one. dun need alot of storage space yeah?

Spiritual Concentration!!

Blurness a result from tension

2007-08-22T23:45:00.000+08:00

quite a relaxing day 2day. eat, sleep, relax. =) another call frm Recruit Express abt a data entry job. its e 2nd offer already. 1st at Somerset, this one is in Raffles Place.

in e afternoon, i locked myself in my room to do my quiet time. honestly speaking i haven't been doing it in a regular basis. computer has always been a distraction, conscience always prick me, often i ignore them and end up feeling guilty.

spent an hr in e room with e music coming frm my phone, played e guitar, prayed a shortwhile & then was led to read Psalms 119, e longest chapter in e whole bible! my heart was screaming out loud longing for a love to fill e void. David wrote e book of Psalms and every word he wrote was a song tt carries so much weight. a song written to God.

alot of tension in e house in e evening between sister and mum. kind of helpless since both r kinda stubborn. so much so i got read and left e house early. on e way to camp, an idea struck me, since e pple able to do my clearance will be in on fri, might as well change my off to thurs, then come back on fri to do clearance. tt idea struck me when i was almost reaching camp at King Labert Park Macdonalds! my god.. how stupid i can get. but e bus ride was relaxing. no tension. =)

ORD date (07/09/07) draws near..

2007-08-20T09:45:00.000+08:00

Once i was in a bus on e way home. Suddenly worries cloud my mind regarding finances..

"now that u're soon going out of army, tt means no income. how?"
"haven't found a job, even if u do find one, u'll drought for a mnth 1st b4 money comes in"
"look at ur bank balance! not enuf to tide u through bills & survive for a mnth"

money really is a headache. mum says u'll learn to appreciate money. she was rite! i'm staring to worry abt them rite now! must plan!

Sunday i was up early to attend church service. its a soul awakening time in e hall. Joyce Meyer took center stage on e pullpit, she sure was tactfully straight forward abt wad she wants to bring her message across.

"when u find urself unable to show mercy to pple ard u, it also shows u haven't been in peace with urself such as being hard on urself, disrespect for urself, ultimately not loving urself. why is it tt we can't be at peace with ourselves is bcuz we haven't experience tt love we ought to receive frm God! only when we receive tt love frm God then can we turn things round frm urself and then to others." how true is tt?!

Man Utd lost to Man City by a goal. a tight contest as both sides r competitive. thumbs up for Sven & Co. bad performance by Tevez. probably stifled by a lack of space & support. wad was ferguson thinking putting him alone upfront?!

set up a/cs with jobstreet.com, jobsdb.com last nite, so tt i can send out resumes with juz a click of e mouse & wait.. haha.. this week will spend 2 days in camp. booking in tonight. =)

A week of direction & purpose

2007-08-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

Shireen's 'mouse of art on my photo shot of art!

this week had been busy making plans, calling, praying, inviting and coordinating CG's BBQ. finally everything is over but job is half done. probably by end of this week we'll be drawing up plans to follow-up on e friends tt came. shldn't be a prob as it was quite a success.

tuesday i was back in camp doing my duty. everyone seem kind of cool towards me maybe cuz i'm not ard in camp often nowadays. looking back at e times i had in 5SIR, tremendous! made friends who r willing to stick by u through ur tough times. i'll miss them.

wedenesday is Kevin's op day. went back home straight frm camp. mum rented a Hyundai Getz. air con was weak! at strength 4, e aircon seem to blow only at strength 1. aiyo.. anyway, e whole family along with Shanelle to Tan Tock Seng, we're there to see him through his op. then met up with Shireen for a movie. caught Secret directed by Jay Chou. e last movie i watched tt starred him was Initial D. he sort of suprised me with tt movie. Now, he really took me by super suprise! nv thought he is able to play a cool guy who is innocent, with a sense of humour. anyway e movie was nice. sort of similar to Lakehouse but this had quite a happy ending.

Joyce Meyer sharing in servoce this week! read her book tt opened my mind on how to love myself!

a game fast or a computer fast for a week? thinking abt it.

'Relac' one corner

2007-08-12T00:28:00.000+08:00

whacky
then
now

Its been quite sometime now tt i haven't update my blog. hmmm... Last thurs we had a CG outing, kinda fruitful as we let our hair down! its been a long time since we went out like tt. a torture though everytime they say they are hungry, or when they decided to eat. cuz i'm on a weeks fast. but of course everytime i broke fast at 6pm, food had been all gd, i ate Carl's Jr for dinner. soon after we watched Flashpoint. e fight scene is gd but storyline is rather thin. =\

on friday was e day i met up with e guy to buy e N80 frm him. On e way to airport to pick papa, we dropped by tanah merah where e deal is held. everything went smoothly & i think i got e N80 at a bargain. $320 for a mint condition phone w 512mb memory card! didn't expect tt. warranty still has 6 mnths to run & e phone is hardly used according to e previous owner. tt day we rented a car to herald e arrival of e head of e household! convenient to have a car ard.

We had CGM too tt day, combined w E254. Refreshing! which CG has to offer 3 guitarist to play for CGM?! all skilled players and they did a gd job complimenting each other as they play together. Sinda preached a gd msg tt day. abt Godliness through discipline.

This morning i went for young adult zone prayer meet. 20 pple gathered at riverwalk to interceede for e zone's young adults. for e first time we prayed using e mike, all of us! Nervous. haha.. turned out well, all of us prayed through e mike like we've done it b4. =)

Dr. Bernard taught us abt how its possible for us to engage e marketplace. being earthen vessels to contain His commandments (God's value system) & His presence (His creative power & authority). i caught it & manage to share with e CG my revelations as i stand in for Sinda to do debrief.

its like a silem light stick. we're e plastic stick, e Holy Spirit is like e liquid tt illuminates when its shaken. in our walk with God as believers, we all have this tendency to hold back frm God our will, not surrendering totally to His will. when we do this, like e plastic stick, we only allow a small amount of liquid in. Gives off light but not as bright as one compared to a stick tts full with illuminating liquid. e brighter we are, e more noticable we are in e spiritual realm, e more we draw pple to us, e more effective we light up a dark world!

so do we get e Holy Spirit to take control? read e Word to know God's value system, fast and pray to allow Him to enter us, let His Will be our will, so that He can use us!